Indian Cricket Team's Itinerary: Mission Impossible

By Parvathy Gopalakrishnan

They’re supermen. Atleast that’s what inhabitants of this cricket-possessed nation think. And amongst this breed, there is a certain elite section: members of the BCCI, who seem to have taken this assumption a bit too seriously. If cricketers are placed on the podium of demi-Gods, the Board expects them act like some too.

One could term the Indian cricketers as globe-trotters, but, they’re more of refugees. They travel the length and breadth of the blue sphere, in an attempt to conquer one nation after another through their cricketing endeavours. Their closets are mobile; they live half their lifetime flying, eating and sleeping in air.

Now, how packed is jam-packed? Take a look at the Indian cricket team’s itinerary, and one can probably comprehend. The year kick started with the South African sojourn (3 tests, 5 ODIs, 2 T20s), and the team has never looked back since then. This was followed by the mother-of-all-cricketing tournaments: the ICC World Cup that got underway in February, to go on till 2^nd April.

The World Cup witnessed a home-coming, but the warriors, sadly, did not even have the time to bask in the glory for this unparalleled accomplishment. They had to pack their baggage yet again, to split as a team, and let the region vs region battle take over. IPL time, and slam bang action for another 51 days. Come May 28, and the cricketers can heave a sigh of relief. Or, wait, can they? Really? Well, no. Clearly.

The men fly to the Caribbean Isles on yet another cricketing mission, beginning from June 4, to July 6 (3 tests, 5 ODIs, 1 T20). That’s not all. Lined up for them is an England tour from July to September (4 tests, 5 ODIs, 1 T20), followed the English team returning the favour and touring India in October (3 tests, 5 ODIs). Hot on the heels of this home series, India will be playing host to the Windies in November (3 tests, 3-5 ODIs), post which, they’ll fly Down Under for some chin music in December (4 tests, 5 ODIs, 1 T20).

Phew! Spectators are already reeling under an overdose of the timber and leather battle, evident from café’s that are virtually empty. This is in stark contrast to the scene when people made a beeline for these very cafes during the World Cup. If too much cricket has become an eyesore for the spectators, spare a thought for the men who face the sun, wind and rain, toil it out in the open, and yet face brickbats if they fail to perform.

Yes, the Indian cricketers have more than a million options to make a quick buck. They have fatter than fattest bank balances, they have their bunglaas, gaadis and maas, but do they even have the time to put this money to use? They’re left to deal with changing time zones and being constantly on the move.

Yes, they have their Mastercards in place, but there are somethings that money can’t buy. Hope the BCCI’s listening to this one.

The Big Screen's Love-Hate Saga With Cricketers

By Parvathy Gopalakrishnan

When lensmen pan their cameras towards the most beautiful faces in the stadium, the excitement on the faces of the “subjects” is hard to miss. The reactions are varied though. Some just shy away, just like the typical girls-next-door, some oblige the shutterbugs with a warm, receptive smile, some ignore (yeah, yeah, the characters that claim that they don’t care), and some, well, they just scream their lungs out!

Ok. Now back to the warriors on field. It hasn’t been too long since the big screen thingy evolved in the cricketing arena. And speaking of big screens, how can one forget the die-hard Zaheer Khan fan in Bangalore, who’d carried with her a placard that professed her undying love for him? And the Big Screen does not miss instances like this!! While Madame head-over-heels-in-love-with-Zak was on cloud 9, Zaheer too was blushing in the dressing room. And then, kisses were blown in the air, with Zak returning the favour by blowing one right back to the lady! The bemused players on field too couldn’t stop the smiles from making guest appearances. Cute! In case you missed that match between India and Pakistan (shame on you if you did, shame shame!), here’s the video:

If this cute big thing has romances brewing, it is also a double-edged sword. Yes. Ask the players, they’ll be able to tell you why. Now that the poor little things reading this cannot exactly ask the players why, I’m here to act as a saviour. A player whacks one past the ropes, and the screening of the shot is bound to bring smiles on his face. However, spare a thought for the bowler who just got belted. Hehe, sometimes, the big screen is a curse!

And if a player drops a catch, he’s dead meat! He not just has to face the scornful gazes of his team mates and bear the jeers of the crowd, and also deal with the guilt pangs, he also has to deal with larger-than-life images of his goof-up being screen across the stadium. Players would just want to dig a hole in a ground, and bury themselves inside it!

On being asked what was the most horrendous thing that had happened to him on field, Ganguly retorted, “I dropped a catch, and I was already feeling dreadful. And the screen showed it six times; not once or twice but six times! I just wanted something that I could cover my face with!” Indeed. Its embarrassment, and that too, of the highest order. When a player wants to move on post the mess, it will just not let him do so.

For instance, Morne Morkels’s fielding nightmare in yesterday’s match against the Deccan Chargers. He fumbled while fielding, letting the ball slip past him for a boundary, and he was so nervous after the big screen shots, that he let another one dodge him, on the very next ball! Such is the influence that this new baby of innovation has. But like it, or hate it, it does help bring about epoch creating instances!

IPL 4 Points table a pleasant surprise!

By Parvathy Gopalakrishnan

This space has been lying dormant for the past few days, primarily because of a passive feeling towards the IPL. That’s changed now. Take a tertiary glance at the points table, and the top four teams will make you  to rub your eyes in disbelief. Well, here’s how it looks.

Two new teams inducted into the extravaganza this year, and both have perched prettily at the top of the table. And surprise, surprise, the least expected team has come out all guns blazing. Shah Rukh has been at the receiving end of brickbats and verbal assaults, but the change of game plan and a free flow of moolah at the auctions have certainly helped his cause.

The fourth edition of the IPL is well reaching its mid stages, and it’s been no less than a shocker. The cricket pundits can take a sabbatical, for none of their predictions seem to have come true. Let’s take a look at what the top four teams have been doing so far.

Kolkata Knight Riders: The fans were furious when the management looked right through “aamader Dada”. Protests, black bands, virtually empty Eden Gardens. But then, as they say, the junta’s memory is weak. One string of good performances, and they’re back to rooting for you. Ditto case for the Badshaah’s Boys. Gautam Gambhir has been one of the most expensive purchases of the year, and this has proved to be a master stroke by KKR. Kallis, as always has been rock solid, and all we can say is, tough luck Siddhartha Mallya. Balaji has been firing in, and all that can be said is that, a change in the core team has done wonders for the unit. With Shah Rukh promising to run topless if KKR clinch the title, girls must be rubbing their palms together in excitement!

Pune Warriors: Yuvraj is like a true phoenix. When the world and its wife are convinced that he’s dead and buried, he rises from his ashes to prove them wrong. With him at the helm, and the team on song, looks like the Warriors are in the mood of not letting go of the title. Mohnish Mishra, Jesse Ryder and Robin Uthappa getting into the act now, this team looks unstoppable.

Mumbai Indians: Most ardent fans of other teams I’ve known have made a switch of loyalty. For the love of Sachin they claim. And rightly so. The team has been consistent, performing together as a unit. Malinga has been nothing less lethal. The batsmen sure must be having nightmares with the maggi-mane waala dude charging in at them like an angry bull. With Rayadu also chipping in with a significant knock, the team looks in good shape. The sizzling chemistry between Bhajji and Symmo adds spice to the side.

Kochi Tuskers Kerala: A lot was said about the team even before the curtains were raised. Be it their name, or their website, they were always being dissected, bisected and trisected. But then, they have arrived, and arrived with a boom! Clinching two out of four matches, especially after having started out on a terrible note, KTK look quite intimidating. Jayawardene, VVS Laxman, McCullum, Sreesanth, Vinay Kumar: all of them have played significant roles in zipping the mouths of critics!

But then, there’s still time before the knock-out matches begin, and all is not lost for the other teams. There would very well be a turn around in the table, for yeh IPL hain bhaiyya, yahaan kuch bhi ho sakta hain!

Dismal Performances by Delhi and Punjab Raise Doubts over the Teams’ Nucleus

by SHUVAIT KOUL

Sleepless nights for Delhi Daredevils till they take guard for their next encounter. It was a rather forgetful day for the hosts as they started their crusade in IPL4 on a dismal note.

Though the DareDevils may earn themselves some points by justifying it as a bad day in the office but their outing against the Mumbai Indians has exposed many chinks in their armor.

They might already be feeling the heat because of the lack of icon players in their side. With the likes of Dilshan, Gambhir, Vettori and De Villiers drafted to other franchisees, all that Delhi is left is an explosive opening pair of skipper Sehwag and David Warner but a brittle middle order. This became evident with Malinga ripping apart their defenses and eventually bundling them out for a paltry total 95.

But DD can draw some solace from the fact that they have a reasonably good pace attack in Morne Morkel, Dinda and Umesh Yadav who on their day can be really probing and hard to get away.

Needless to emphasize that they will have their moments in the IPL but this Daredevils side is by no means is as dangerous as that of the previous seasons and to really pass shivers down the spine of the opposition, they will have to do a lot of home work and get their act together.

In what looked like a duplication of the Delhi performance, KXIP took a leaf out of the Daredevils book much to the dismay of the owner Preity Zinta who has not had not had the rub of the green going her away in any of the seasons.

Apart from some fire works by Ryan Mclaren in the latter half of Punjab innings, it was a disastrous show by them against the first timers Pune Warriors after coming out into the middle under a new skipper Adam Gilchrist. After tottering at nine for four at one stage, they did well to reach a respectable total of 112 in the end but dropping a couple of dollies did not help their cause at all.

Like the Daredevils, the Kings also suffer from the same deficiency of star players and will have to pull their socks up to fancy chances of making it big on the bigger stage. Gilly’s leadership will be put to test and will have to lead by example to pump up the dressing room.

The super Sunday turned out to be a one sided affair and has raised many questions on the nucleus of Delhi and Punjab teams which in the course of the tournament will surely trouble them if they don’t play like cohesive units.

IPL 4: Deja Vu for KKR; CSK Continue Winning Streak

By Parvathy Gopalakrishnan

There could’ve been no better start to the fourth edition of the IPL, sans a certain Lalit Modi. A revamped and a brand new spirited Knight Riders took on the confident defending champions CSK, and a what a cracker of a match this turned out to be. Lady Luck fully to his aide, MS won the toss, and batting first was an easy choice.

Springing up surprises has never been alien to Dhoni, and in another one of such moves, Anirudha Srikkanth was sent to open the innings with Murali Vijay, who perished very early. Raina and Anirudha gave the innings a much needed consolidation, with Anirudha letting loose occasionally. The KKR fielding looked decent until Pathan senior suddenly started playing butter fingers, dropping two catches. First he dropped Anirudha off his own bowling, and if that wasn’t enough, he dropped Raina this time at mid-on.

While the Superkings hit the occasional boundaries, what worked for them was that they kept the scoreboard ticking. The going looked pretty smooth for CSK until the 10th over, after which Raina (33 off 29) was dropped again by Morgan at mid-wicket before Delhi lad Sarabjit Ladda scooped one to get rid of him in the 11th over.

KKR managed to keep the Dhoni-Anirudha duo quiet for a while post the strategic time out, but that did not stop Srikkanth junior from getting to his half century. And then it was enough of singles and mature batting. It was time to up the ante, and Anirudha did exactly that. While Dhoni stood and delivered, Anirudha belted one over mid-wicket for another six.

Dhoni gloved one to Bisla after he was surprised by some extra bounce off Kallis’ bowling. The 18th and 19th over being quite economical, the final over changed the script for the Super Kings. While Anirudha (65 off 55) perished in a weird manner, Styris and Morkel took the innings ahead with a flurry of boundaries, Kallis conceding 16 runs in the last over.

Requiring 154 to start off the outing on a good note, Kallis and Bisla took charge of the KKR innings. Bashi squeezed one through the gap between mid-off and extra cover, while Kallis also opened his account with a boundary. The fourth over turned to be productive with Kallis opening the full face of the bat to send one crashing to the boundary, and then pulling another one to the fence.

As Bisla fell to Jakati, Yusuf Pathan walked into the middle hoping to set things right. That was not the case to be, as Dhoni produced a marvelous piece of fielding to get rid of him. Kallis continued calmlly on the other end, reaching yet another 50, but before long, he too departed, scooping one to fine leg off off Ashwin’s bowling. Morgan was the next man in, who was undone thanks to some fine glove-work by Dhoni.

Gambhir finally walked into the middle and played a blink-and-miss innings. A huge tactical error this, to come lower down the order. Laxmiratan Shukla and Manoj Tiwary played gritty camoes, the 19th over witnessing two sixes, and a boundary.

The last over and KKR needed 9 to win. After taking a couple, Shukla fell on the third ball. With 7 required from 4 deliveries, Iqbal Abbdullah walked in, and stole two runs. 5 off 3. Shah Rukh and his son egging the team on. Missed run out chance, and more importantly, a dot ball. 5 off 2. Single taken. 4 off 1. Single. Match over. KKR outplayed. Period.

Dhoni steered his team to yet another victory. While the Super Kings were already brimming with confidence, this victory has given them a clear psychological advantage. The man who stole the show, however, was Anirudha Srikkanth, who played a gem of an innings, to prove to the world that he’s not an ordinary son of an extraordinary father!

Modi, Twitter and the “once upon a time I was the boss” saga…..

by SHUVAIT KOUL

“Sad to see the way the opening ceremony was conducted. Well I am sure the Games will be better. So let's hope they will overcome the start."

For those of you who are wondering who uttered this Gospel Truth, come alive because it is Lalit Modi time once again, but on this ocassion not in Chennai for the inaugural match between CSK and KKR but on twitter, probably a better pitch for him now?

Any guesses why the sidelined Modi did not like opening ceremony. Well no prizes for guessing since Mr. Modi must be using a lot of tissue papers seeing his baby getting nurtured by a new father in Chirayu Amin. One feels awful for the pioneer of IPL but all he can do now is tweet sitting in front of his laptop for hours together.

Not only has this season of the IPL become bigger in terms of the number of teams but also because of the fact that we have the rare intellect of Lalit Modi on Twitter who will be passing his priceless critical comments ranging from the supposedly dismal opening ceremony to the post match analysis to the outfits and cheering abilities of the blonde and beautiful cheerleaders.

While the entire nation is up in arms supporting Anna Hazare’s fight against corruption, we must also show our solidarity to Modi by reading and if possible occasionally replying to his tweets. The reason is plain and simple; just like Anna Hazare Modi is also our hero, though for more bad reasons that sane ones.

It is also worth mentioning that the political correctness of Lalit Modi is just incredible. One can discover that from his tweets.

But this perfection in him is not intrinsic but an inference of his fond memories with the BCCI. He has been there previously and knows how much it hurts when you get a rap on the knuckles.

IPL 4 has kicked off and so has the tweetamania sponsored by the genius Mr. Modi. This season promises to be a slobber knocker and so does Modi’s charming presence on twitter during the tournament.

He will leave no stone unturned in making the best use of his spare time, oops I mean all the time in opening our minds to the new vistas of IPL minus Modi saga.

Kochi does it again!

By Parvathy Gopalakrishnan

The 22 yard strip looks revamped. Oh yes, there’s a temple, trees, a traditional drummer, a kathakali dancer, a beach, a boathouse and elephants. Ok, there might be more elements, but these are the ones that stand out. Amidst these show-stealing visuals, one might not notice the wickets peeping out, crying out loud for attention.

For the benefit of those wondering what is being referred to here, all I can say is that the Kochi Commandos, oops sorry, Kochi Tuskers Kerala have done it again! If they’ve garnered attention because of their absurd choice of names, they should be expecting the name-game snowballing into a huge avalanche, all thanks to their official website!

The homepage is in itself an epic failure. Apart from the gaudy visuals that overshadow the pitch, there are facebook and twitter flags fluttering around, and “book tickets” banners on the virtual Kochi stadium. Shady (literally) spectators waving “fan club” flags, the outfield screaming out names of the sponsors, and their logo flying high somewhere in the sky; all this and more to be ROTFL your AO!

Let’s now conduct a post-mortem of the content. They talk about archaic stuff like “vision and mission”, about the coach, the team and the partners. Dude, who wants to know about all this? And in the slimmest possibility that someone would like to know, why not google instead?

Looks like the team owners are keen to partner with the Kerala Tourism board. There nothing cricket related available on the site, except for a basic information of the squad and fixtures. Explore Kerala, weirdly, finds a place on the site. What’s more, the owners are actually elated that the team name attracted so many eye balls. They’ve lost it, and they’ve made that fact official by coming up with this masterpiece!

And speaking of the name, what a huge impact it had! And from Kochi Commandos to Kochi Tuskers Kerala, there’s not been much improvisation! Seems like the franchisees are of the opinion that men with the leather and willow with bow down in front of the mighty tuskers! Lol! :P